Hey friends I want to share my gay journey with you all!

When I was 9 years, my cousin came to visit my house. He was about 22 and came with family to live at my house with his family for one or two week holiday.  They live in Gulap Ganj, Bangladesh. Name is Abdul. He took me to the woods during the afternoon, and he asked me to lie on my front, then he spit in my ass and said don’t worry it was nothing, and try to enter my arsehole, but it was painful. So I screamed. Then he put saliva between my thighs and he put his dick between my legs and then I saw after few minutes on the ground and between my thighs grey stuff. He said if I tell anyone, his family and my family will  kill him and me, so I belter keep quite,  But I am sure I did not understand what he did.

Then at night time next day he pretended He was like big brother to me, and said I could sleep with him at night and asked my mum for permission but I think she did not give permission because I didn’t sleep in his room. Next day he took me to woods again, and asked me to touch his penis. He then showed me mobile phone and I saw naked children with men, and he said look its normal. He slowly put his penis in my mouth showing me picture on mobile phone I think one young boy have white man penis in his mouth. Boy looked Asian. I did and in my mouth his penis became big and I nearly choked. And I was coughing. Then he said, it is okay..let’s go home. He did not do anything. He buy me sweets. Told me again not to speak. I did not. But when I saw his penis something happened. It was long and big like cucumber. I liked thinking about it later. This stayed with me a long time. He did not do anything to me afterwards.  I also did not tell my family. But, his penis picture I could not get out my head.

He then went to Saudi Arabia and I never saw him.

Then next I experienced this stuff was when I started my college in scholarshome in Sylhet. I was living in the mess with 14 boys. There I used to see some of them in shorts, some even having sex when they thought everyone asleep. I was the youngest in the group.  All my memories returned. Then one boy who was having sex with other boys, asked me to try it. I don’t know why I did not resist. He first put his penis in my arse, used oil, and the experience was so nice. His penis did not give me pain. Then he let me do it to him. He was expert. He did what my cousin asked me to do second time. He put my penis in his mouth. My penis became big. Then I put my penis in his arsehole and after few minutes I came inside him. The feeling was so good. Then I had sex with him several times. I knew it was wrong and sin according to my religion, and if people found out we could be kicked out of college and my family would ostracise me. So I never discussed this with anyone, but continued to have sex with same boy until the other boys that he was having sex with also asked for sex and we used to have sex. I was at the mess for nearly two years and during those two years I had sex several times. But it was all a secret. During this time I also realised that I was a gay, and started watching gay porn images on mobile. I kept in touch with that boy and the other two boys I used to have sex with until I came to the UK. We even had group sex.

Then I came to the U.K. I met my partner  fired chicken shop -in a que, in east London.  We spoke, and we ate together  Donner kebab.  Then we exchanged numbers and he said he would call and would show around London. He then called and we went Piccadilly circus, I noticed the LGBT flag. I pretended I did not know anything, and asked him what that flag was. He showed great interest and said it was the LGBT flag, and when I saw the happiness on his face, I sensed something but kept quite. He was telling me how the LGBT community was minority group and oppressed all over the world, especially in Muslims nations and in Bangladesh. This made me ask him how he knew so much. He said everyone knows this and then changed subject. Then we had macDoonalds chicken burger and chips and by accident my hands touched his hands. He didn’t ask me to remove my hands and just looked at me. I then removed my hands. We agreed to meet again.

We arranged to meet again in Piccadilly circus because I liked it, and started talking over phone. I was telling him I was living with boys in mess in college for two years. He asked me how was mess life, and I was telling him that lot of boys in college are gays but they cannot talk. He seemed very interested and kept asking me questions. By our next meeting again in 7 or 10 days time, we had opened up enough to each other and suspected that the other might be a gay. He was telling me how he has never been with a girl and how in Madrasa in Bangladesh lot of imams were gays and having sex with children but these same imams then pretend to be real good Muslims and tell ppl that it is sin punishable with death in Islam to sleep with men.

On our 3rd meeting, he asked me about college boys and how we lived in mess. I was telling him that boys were naughty and had sex with each other at night. He then finally asked me if I saw them doing it, and I just said “you know they think no one knows but every knows because people can hear them having sex under the quilt and making sound”. He seemed so exited until I finally said even I tried it. That’s when stopped and said “OMG, I don’t know when I first saw you my heart was telling me you might be gay”, because I also tried”, and we laughed. Then as we carried on and started to be more open, he could tell and I could tell, we both were gays.  He shared story about how he was raped by his imam when he was a child about 8 years old. I shared my story as well.

He then asked if I wanted to meet him again and we could meet at his house. He came to pick me up, we went and on that day when I went to his bedroom, we started talking, kissing, and having sex. It was all natural. We both accepted that we were gays and we wished we could live and declare our love openly instead of hiding because we were gays.

We then started our website to highlight suffering of gay people and slowly we decided it was time to share our stories to inspire others.


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