Hi friends I want to share my gay journey with whole world.

I was about 8 years old. My father is an Islamic teacher. When I was child my father to feed the family was always working away from our home address in different areas of Bangladesh.

Because my father was away my father could not be tutor me in Islamic studies at home. So I used to go to local imam house to learn Quran language and my Arabic alphabets. This imam was quite old and he died in 2011.

I remember the first time he raped me. I did not know what sex was. After Islamic classes he used to drop me and my friends off at home because his home was little bit far away and it used to get dark around that time.

I never used to doubt anything. But he always used to make me and other boys sit on his laps when teaching us. One day, after the session finished (about one hour every day), he asked one of the older boys to drop the other children off home (there was only about 4 of us – 3 boys and 1 girl). He lived alone in the house. Later I found out he was also like my dad travelling and teaching around the country. I think his wife was dead or did not live with him (maybe divorced, but I never asked even when I heard he had died). I don’t know if had children.

On that first time, he did not let me go, saying he would drop me off. He closed the door or maybe door was closed already. Then he sat in the place where I was sitting and said to me something which I didn’t understand and don’t now remember.  He then said he was going to teach me something but it had to be our secret and he would buy me gifts and always pay extra attention to me. I was so excited but too shy to respond. I was always a shy and quite person. Then he just grabbed me and squeezed my bum and pulled my “lungi” down, and then next I know he was massaging his penis between my thighs. He was on top of me. I was so small, I think his chest and beard covered my face. After about 10 minutes, he wiped my thighs, and I could sense I was wet around my thighs. He told me not to mention it to anyone. If I did, he would beat me, and showed me the bamboo stick.

 

After few days again, he repeated the same incident. He gave me chocolates, but this time he put oil or something in my anus and he was fingering me. Then he put what I now know was his penis in my anus. The area so oily but it was still very painful for me. He told not to cry and he would not hurt me. But I couldn’t take it. It was too painful. So he started rubbing his penis between my arse lines, and I could sense hot liquid spreading over my bum. Again he told me not to mention anything and was giving me sweets all the time.

 

On the 3rd time, he showed me his penis. When I saw it, I was like wow. Something happened. I felt respect for his penis. He started playing with my penis. But I was very shy. Then he did it slowly in my anus. I enjoyed it. He did this for few more times with me until one day he told us he had to go to a different area like my dad because some family needed a house tutor for their children and he was going to be away from us, but someone else was going to teach us. I started crying, and he said, he would see me soon, gave me sweets and said never to reveal our secret to anyone.

Then a new Imam took over, but he didn’t do anything to me. He was different and nice. Then I joined an Islamic Madrasa in Ajim pur where I was 10 years old and started my Islamic education journey. I even studied at Lal Bagh, the famous the Dhaka Madrasa around the age 14-15. There I soon learned that most imams were actually gays. I started having sex with another student imam, but we pretended we were normal. One thing I learned in life was that Imams in Bangladesh are not gays but bisexuals because they also have wives and children.

Then I came to the UK, and realised I did not have to hide my sexuality anymore. When I was studying Derby College, I used to see male students holding hands and kissing each other. Finally I felt liberated and felt I did not have to lie anymore. I did not want to be like these Imams in Bangladesh who because they cannot reveal that they are gays are forced to live life as bisexuals lying to their wife and society.  What is worse they rape innocent children, girls and boys, but carry on like they are angels of Allah on earth.

The Bangladesh imams are worse than kafirs. Now I with my partner and media reports want to expose them.

MOHAMMAD ASADULLAH

 

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